Expectant and Newborn Masterclass
Hello beautiful families, Donna Moala here the founder and owner of Bub2sleep, I am a Certified Paediatric Sleep Consultant, working with expectant parents up to children 7 years of age. I am so excited to be able to share with you today all my top tips around Newborn’s - 3 month old sleep.
Firstly, there is definitely not one secret to achieving great sleep for you and your baby. But with lots of nurturing, understanding, patience and lots of love your baby could be able to master the miracle of sleep. You can never start too early with creating some beautiful, healthy newborn sleep foundations.
My approach is NEVER Cry It Out and with my 1:1 unlimited sleep “nurturing package” Sleep is not a luxury it is attainable for every single family. Sleep is a skill that our beautiful babies can master over time.
For parents today there is just so much information, which can be confusing, conflicting and leave new parents not quite knowing what direction to go in.
Always be super strong with your unique decisions and boundaries, you are the parent’s, try not to let other people, friends or family make you feel like you should be doing anything different. You get to choose. If something feels right for you, then it is 1000000% right.
I love the word Matrescence to explain this time. Matrescence is the immense transformation a woman experiences with her journey into and through motherhood. Like adolescence, Matrescence is a time of huge change and transition, physically, emotionally, socially, hormonally and spiritually. However, unlike adolescence, Matrescence is largely unsupported or even acknowledged in the Western World.
Matrescence is not linear. We navigate through different phases, stages, beginnings and endings throughout our lifetime of mothering. Understanding this can help us to navigate through our day-to-day life.
If you are diligent in creating healthy sleep foundations with your baby by ensuring they are not relying on props and are able to fall asleep on their own, chances are they could drop down by themselves to one feed somewhere between 10 and 13 weeks of age.
Please please always follow SIDS guidelines for safe sleep,
Top Newborn Sleep Tips
Flexible routines and foundations make our babies feel safe and secure as they will always know what is coming next in their day, so they don’t have to fret.
Rules for routines should be very flexible, Naps in prams, car seats, or ine your arms are okay and need to be done, but keep in mind that the more your baby practices their own sleep skills, in their bassinet or cot! And having some kind of routine, can make your day much easier, routines don’t have to be strict or scary. Maybe a few naps on you and a few naps in bassinet, practice, practice, practice.
SLEEP PROPS/ASSOCIATIONS WHAT ARE THEY?
This is anything that your baby may need to support/aid them to sleep, that is not on their own. Dummy’s, breast feeding, bottle, rocking, bouncing, singing, patting. Of course these can all be used but if baby requires any of them, and at times during your day, you may feel like you need to support baby every single time, and that is OK, take everyday as it come and try to stay in the moment, as bub gets older if they can only go to sleep with support then they may need them all night long when coming in and out of sleep cycles.
Dummy’s: Dummy’s can be a very useful tool for a newborn. They can calm a baby who feels the need to suck, they can buy you a bit of time if you just need to get a few things done, and they can also help your baby calm down and fall asleep. There is no problem with using a dummy, and if bub sleep well, then you don’t have to change a thing, as long as you keep in mind that as they develop the dummy may become an issue, and if it does then you could reassess later down the track,. A really good place to try a dummy is to extend a short nap.
I am definitely not anti dummy’s so if they work and sleep is going well, they fantastic dont remove if you feel like you are constantly replacing the dummy, then if could be contributing to wakings and may need to be removed.
TIP 1
Watching waking hours, newborns cannot handle much more that 45 - 60 mins wake time, this is including the feed. AND Wake times are age appropriate and adjust slowly as your baby grows. There will be an awake time chart attached to this recording that you can download for free.
Alway’s understand that this is just a range, some baby’s do not fit into this age appropriate wake time chart and that is OK, every baby will have their own individual sleep requirements and wake times.
Try to do whatever is needed to allow your baby to nap when they are due, if a baby gets overtired they can become very upset and even harder to settle.
Understand that as parents we can support our children to master the skill of sleep so they can fall asleep themselves and begin to sleep more peacefully. At this stage, one of the most common sleep props is breastfeeding, so have in the back of your mind that you will try not to feed (breast or bottle) to sleep. Of course, this is next to impossible to achieve 100% of the time and putting your baby down. And will be often with a newborn.
Tip 2
Encouraging full feeds during the day by creating an EAT< PLAY>SLEEP pattern. Newborn babies (up to three months old) will need to take four to five naps per day, and these naps should ideally be between one to two hours. But often may only be 30 minutes and this is very normal also. Most newborns should only be awake for 45 - 60 min at a stretch before they will need to take another nap.
Once you feel things have settled a little with your newborn, you can start to guide and support them around night and day. I would wake a baby after 2 hours of sleep during the day, to offer a feed and help regulate their day.
Feedings: Somewhere between 20 and 30 minutes provides adequate feeding time for newborns (the same is true for both breastfed and bottle-fed babies). For most babies, feeding times will be every two to three hours. Anything less than 2 hours you could become their human dummy.
During the first 4 weeks you may be feeding many more times then 2 hourly before Breastfeeding becomes established there may not be consistency.
Twelve hours of “Day,” Twelve hours of “Night”
Work within the wake times during the day, and allow baby to nap when they are due.
Tip 3
Establishing a good bedtime routine right from day one is a great way to help your baby organise days and nights and start to consolidate night time sleep more quickly. I suggest starting a bedtime routine off with a bath – it’s a great step one. It’s such a significantly different experience that your child will soon learn that a bath means bedtime is near.
Bath
Massage
Pyjamas
Feeding
Kisses goodnight and into cot or bassinet
Last feed: Your routine should always include a full feed to ensure baby’s tummy is full. And it will likely be a tricky time of day to keep baby awake during the feed. Keep a close eye on them and try to keep baby aware of their surroundings by stimulating with touch or talking. You might actually have to remove her from the breast or bottle until she wakes up and is able to continue feeding.
Try to Keep baby awake while you are burping as well. Try your best to allow your baby to go into the cot awake. Again this is not always achievable and it perfectly for them to be fed to sleep if needed at times.
If baby starts to cry: If your baby fusses, you can pick them up and walk around the room a bit until they are calm. Once calm, you should return them to their cot. If they fuss again, wait a few minutes to see how they will respond. If the fussing turns to crying, you should pick them up again.
Walk around the bedroom until they are calm, and then put them back into the cot. Repeat this process as many times as it takes for them to fall asleep. Resist the temptation to let them fall asleep in your arms. If they do, it is OK.
If this continues long enough that another feed is needed, then feed your baby doing the best you can to keep them awake, then right back to the cot and keep trying.
WITCHING HOURS
This can be an actual thing, where your baby may be super fussy and cry alot for and hour or so, for no apparent reason, this is normal, so I suggest cluster feed if breastfeeding (cluster feed is feeding more regularly than the 2 - 3 hours. And also baby wearing, watching when you bub nods off and is awake.
NIGHT FEEDINGS
When your baby wakes up in the middle of the night, you should wait just a couple of minutes before you respond. If they are hungry, you’ll know!
Baby’s are loud sleepers and can be in and out of sleep cycles every 20 - 30 minutes. So if you can leave them at times they will gently flow back to sleep.
If they fuss for longer than a few minutes, you can go into their room and feed them. However, before you start the feed, delay it by changing the nappy first. Your baby will then be less likely to connect waking and crying with feeding.
I suggest doing a nappy change before feed, they have the feed and place baby back down, they do not need to be fully asleep, so they can go back to their cot aware of their surroundings once the feed is finished.
You should keep baby in their room at night. Keep the lights low and your voice quiet so that baby doesn’t become over-stimulated. Night time is for sleeping, so resist the urge to watch TV or turn on lights. This will also help you resettle faster when you get back to your own bed.
Try not to feed any more regularly than 3 hourly at night. Of course if bub needs more than you offer more.
If bub wakes before the 3 hour mark then wait for a few minutes 2 – 5 minutes, then go in and sit beside the cot and try to intermittently shhh and pat. Giving bub’s the opportunity to go to sleep independently.
It’s Morning!
It is often hard to tell when the night time ends with a newborn. This is when we look at night or day as being a 12-hour interval. If baby went to bed at 8:00 p.m., 8:00 a.m. will be the start of the day. The best way to signal that the morning has officially begun is to take baby out of the room and feed in a bright daytime environment such as the living room or the kitchen.
Naps
Naptime Routine: Creating a clear and predictable naptime routine will help your baby make the transition and take a nap more readily.
Good examples of nap routines:
Nappy change
Cuddle time/with songs
Story book
Avoid feeding right before naps as this will only encouraging feed/sleep association
Once the routine is complete, put your baby in the cot or bassinet awake. If they fuss or squirm, wait a minute or two to see if they can settle themselves. If they get more upset, you can pick them up again and soothe. At the first signs of drowsiness put baby back down again. Repeat this process until your baby has fallen asleep or one hour has gone by. If your baby has not fallen asleep within this hour, then get baby up and offer a feeding. Do your best to keep baby awake through the feed, and then put them in the stroller, swing, carrier, or go for a car ride so they can get some sleep.
Short naps: If your baby wakes before an hour is up, try for 10 minutes to support bub back to sleep. You can pat, shhh, cuddle doing whatever you can to encourage bub to go back to sleep. It is better to try to preserve the nap so that the feed schedule stays on track, rather than worry about following all the rules for independent sleep habits.
If you have tried for 10 min with no success, then get your baby up, wait 10 to 20 min before offering a feeding, and try again at next nap time, doing their wake time all over again.
Note: Getting a newborn to fall asleep on their own for daytime naps can be an exhausting process. If you need to take a break, commit to focusing on bedtime and the first nap of the day as your goal for now.
TIP 4
Regulate the room temperature, all year if possible. Approximately 21 - 24 degrees, depending on where you live in the world and your home.
There is a Sleep wear Tog Guide, temperature chart attached. Sleep suit for day and night sleeps.
Swaddling is most effective during your baby’s first eight-twelve weeks of life. After that, you should leave one of your baby’s arms out of the blanket for a week or two and then make the transition to have both arms free. By three months of age, your baby should no longer be swaddled or it might become a sleep prop.
If bub is a hoooodeenee, then there are great sleep suits available, that are easily zipped up and keep their little hand in.
TIP 5
Dark dark room, 10/10 darkness for sleep. Please do not use any red light, no lights at all.
The Circadian Rhythm is our biological sleep internal clock, when the sun goes down Melatonin , the sleepy hormone is released, then approximately round 2 - 3am it starts to wane to get ready for when the sun to pop up and then our cortisol levels increase and we wake up, so if the room is dark our babies may have a sleep in.
TIP 6
You can use white noise, I prefer brown, pink or blue noise, this can be played free on youtube for 12 hours. Make sure it is no louder than 65 decibels. This can be tested with a free App in the App store.
Please do not use lullabies or music around sleep.
Tip 7
Baby monitors are fantastic, make sure there are no lights on it, if so you need to cover. And be mindful you don’t get addicted to the screen, haa haa.
With a monitor we respond to our babies at the slightest whimper instead of allowing our babies a chance to find their own way back to sleep. Without a monitor, it might take a few minutes for you to hear the baby and a few more to actually respond. By that time, they may fall back asleep on their own!
All the best Mumma, remember you are always doing the best you can, our babies definitely do not come with instructions. Some days, take it day by day and enjoy your new little arrival.
Always follow safe SIDS guidelines, go to their website here to find out more https://rednose.org.au/section/safe-sleeping
And remember if you need anything to do with sleep, reach out for a free 15 minute chat.
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Bonus: Sleep Charts