Switching from Cot to Big Kid Bed

When it comes to making the change from a cot to a big-kid bed, there are always two questions that need to be answered.
The first is “when”, and the second is “how”. Firstly, the biggest question would be “are they sleeping through the night?” If they are not then the answer would be “NOT NOW”!

There is absolutely no rush to get your toddler out of their cot and into a bed. I have worked with many 3-year olds sleeping happily in a cot. The only reason you would have to do it earlier would be for safety issues if your toddler has learnt how to climb out.

Another reason not to transition would be if you were about to start sleep training, there is always going to be a period of adjustment as your toddler learns to fall asleep independently. During this journey, it is comforting for your little one to have a familiar place to sleep. Their bedroom, their sheets, their teddy, their cot, everything that can stay the same, should stay the same until they have mastered the skills to fall asleep on their own independently. Moving to a big kid bed is going to be a whole lot easier if your little one is already sleeping through the night. A toddler who is well-rested and able to fall asleep independently is far less likely to leave their room at night, which is the single biggest issue that parents run into when they move their little ones out of their cot. So let’s say that either your toddler is already falling asleep on their own and sleeping through the night, or for some reason, you are in a hurry to get your toddler out of the cot and into a bed, for their new baby brother or sister.

The first stage is preparation, you are going to want to talk to your toddler about what is going to occur. Make is exciting and positive.

Explain to them that they are going to be making the move into a new, big kid’s bed, set a night and let them know when the switch is going to happen. You want to prepare your toddler for the change but you also want to b mindful not to make the whole thing into an enormous event as this can put a lot of pressure on them and potentially stress them out.

When the time comes to actually go shopping for the new bed, be sure to bring your toddler along. Giving your child some choice into which bed they like, what pillows, sheets, feel the most comfortable, helps them feel a sense of ownership over their new bed, which can work miracles towards enabling a smooth transition. So now that the new bed is in the room and the sheets are on, you will want to keep the bed in the same place as where the cot was. You will want to keep just about everything exactly as it was in your toddler’s room, except for the new bed. This is a big change, so try not to make any unnecessary additional changes.

This goes twofold for the schedule on the night of the big event. When you are getting your toddler ready for bed on that first night, do not change the bedtime routine at all, do not even try to offer them a new food at dinner. Keep everything as predictable and boring as possible. Tell them how proud you are, but try to avoid announcements like, “What a big girl/boy you are now!” Toddlers are typically in a continuous state of indecision about whether or not they want to do this whole “growing up” thing or stay as our babies.

So now that your toddler has been put to bed and the lights are off, there are a few different situations that could occur.

First scenario:
That they adapt immediately to their new bed and they don’t test the boundaries at all. In this case, time to celebrate. You are among a very lucky minority.

Second scenario
Your little one seems to adjust immediately but, after a week or two, they start leaving their room, calling out for mum or dad, playing with their toys or coming into your room several times during the night.

Third scenario
Your toddler starts doing all of those things the very first night. The resolution to the last two of these scenarios would be the same. Offer a warning when your toddler exhibits unwanted behaviour, tell them what the consequence is going to be, offer 1 warning and then follow up on that consequence. Repeat until they stay in their bed.

Hopefully, by now you will have discovered a consequence that works on your toddler, I strongly recommend you keep that it place, be very strict with your boundaries, do not give in to their demands.

If you have not yet discovered an effective consequence yet, I find that taking their teddy away for a short period of time and closing the door all the way for a short period of time is functional without putting your toddler into hysterics. For each additional time that they are disobedient, give them 1 warning then increase the length of time by 1 minute that the door stays closed and the teddy stays out of the bed.

So that sums it up! Explain to them what is happening, set the expectations and implement the rules. It is not always going to be easy, but it is pretty straight forward.