Sleep Support (TRAINING) & Parent Anxiety

On the Fence About Teaching Your Baby to Sleep? Let’s Talk About It.

So, you’re contemplating this whole “teaching your baby to sleep” thing. On one hand, you know sleep is essential for everyone in your family. You’ve read the literature, nodded along with the consensus from pediatric experts, and you’re confident that good sleep is crucial for your baby’s development and overall well-being. You’re ready to tackle this challenge and help your little one learn how to sleep well.

But on the other hand? You’re a nervous wreck.

If this sounds like you, know that you’re not alone. Almost every parent I’ve worked with has started this process filled with anxiety. You’ve done your research, you know it’s safe and effective, but when it comes to your baby, every ounce of doubt bubbles up. Because, let’s face it, research is one thing, but your baby is your everything. And if your little one struggles to adapt right away, that worry can become overwhelming.

Why Does It Feel So Hard?

Is this your maternal instinct kicking in? Is your subconscious sounding an alarm? Is nature itself telling you not to teach your baby to sleep? Well, here’s the honest answer: it’s complicated.

Let’s consider two major factors at play here. First, there’s your own sleep deprivation. If your baby’s not sleeping, you’re likely not sleeping either, and the effects of chronic sleep deprivation are no joke. Lack of sleep stimulates the amygdala—the part of your brain that controls emotional reactions. A 2007 study by Harvard Medical School and UC Berkeley showed that sleep deprivation amplifies emotional responses to negative stimuli. In plain English? It’s harder to stay calm and logical when you’re running on empty.

So, when your baby cries, it’s not just a signal for their needs; it can feel like a reflection of your abilities as a parent. Instead of thinking, “What can I do to help them?” you might spiral into, “I’m failing as a mother.” That’s the sleep deprivation talking. Imagine the impact of weeks or months of poor sleep—it’s no wonder you’re feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

The Crying Conundrum

Now, let’s address the elephant in the room: crying. Yes, it’s highly likely your baby will cry during this process. Crying is their way of expressing discomfort with change—and let’s be real, we all resist change. Whether it’s the first day of school, tasting asparagus, or learning not to eat dirt, tears often accompany the learning process. It’s not a sign of harm; it’s a sign of adjustment.

But why does crying feel so unbearable? The answer lies in neuroscience. Dr. David Poeppel, a professor of psychology and neural science at NYU, explains that a baby’s cry has a unique sound pattern called “amplitude modulation rate”—essentially, the frequency at which the sound’s volume changes. Baby cries, along with sirens and alarms, modulate at about 100 times per second, compared to a speaking voice’s four to five times per second. This modulation triggers activity in your amygdala, compelling you to act.

In short, your brain perceives crying as an emergency, even when it’s not. This biological response is what makes hearing your baby cry feel so urgent and distressing.

How to Calm Your Mind and Embrace the Process

Before diving into sleep training, it’s important to recognize that your brain is playing tricks on you. It’s trying to convince you that your baby’s crying signals imminent danger, even when you know, rationally, that they’re safe. Understanding this can help you reframe your emotions and focus on the long-term benefits of teaching your baby this vital skill.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY WITH MY APPROACH TO SLEEP SUPPORT, YOU CAN CUDDLE, TOUCH AND NURTURE YOUR CHILD THROUGH THIS CHANGE.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, practices like deep breathing or meditation can help regulate your own emotions. Remind yourself that crying is part of your baby’s adjustment and doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Your ultimate goal is to help your little one sleep better, which will benefit their health, development, and happiness—and yours, too.

Remember, this is a journey, and it’s okay to feel nervous. By understanding the science behind your feelings, you’re already taking the first step toward success. You’ve got this!